Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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