you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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