My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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