Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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