and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
