Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
