dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
