And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
