So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My vagina is very pro this idea
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
