apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
