She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
