Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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