dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
