marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
