Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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