How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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