dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
