YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
