I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
