what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
