It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
