you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
