Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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