Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
