I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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