big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
