There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
