So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
