Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
