Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
