I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
