32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
