People in love make me want to vomit
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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