im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
