I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
