The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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