We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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