maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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