It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
