Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When are your genitals available?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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