I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize