Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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