I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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