so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
