just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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