we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
