I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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