awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
