I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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