I'm lost and stupid without you.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
