last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Green mimosas i think yes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
