in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
