I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
