nut hugger
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
