It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
