He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize