i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
