i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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