Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
