Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
