i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
this hospital has no fireball
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
